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Posted by Beth Miller

November 9th 2010

Not really a question, more a comment. I really enjoyed hearing you speak at Newick Park today; as a wannabe novelist working on my twentieth re-write, it struck a chord. I also enjoyed hearing you talk about Vic's sublime poetry. When it looked like the Runaway might close earlier this year I wrote about him in my column (I write for Viva Lewes every week). Here's the link in case you want another dose of Vic: http://small-pleasures.blogspot.com/2010/03/dont-runaway.html

William Nicholson responded:

Viva Lewes is a great magazine - I've read it many times. Long may Viva and Vic thrive.

Posted by Holly James

November 9th 2010

First of all I didn't know you are posting are emails on your web page. I am not as good at writing as you. However since I got your attention. Here is my story for for you. I am not eating crow. I never read your web page or anything about you just the article in the Daily Mail. I am a nobody living in California. Thanks for you help. Maybe you're part of a Celestine Prophecy since you answered my first email. You're quite famous. And nobody else believed my story. P.S. I did read your whole web page. And you are very good. My first comments where premature. I didn't know your history. Holly Wood James,

William Nicholson responded:

I've edited out your story from the post because I think you would prefer that, but I have read it. I'm kind of amazed by it - don't quite know what to think. It throws up so many questions that don't seem to have answers, only more questions. Also, how come you, in California, are reading the English Daily Mail? But you're not a nobody, and I'm not famous. We're both people doing our best to make sense of our lives.

Posted by Holly James

November 9th 2010

No! You missed my point. Your article clearly states that a man can have an affair and women will give a free pass. But men will not give women a free pass to have affairs. Why don' you let your wife experiment. I am sure just her asking would freak you out. You guys just can't handle the truth the married women like to fool around too? Men test women's loyalty by trying to make them jealous. For women it is a survival game, has been and will always be. Stereotyping still and will always exist same a racial profiling. I bet that everyday you walk down the streets of London your profiling, it is biological in grained into are DNA. If the human species didn't have these built in signals they would be in great danger. But I guess sitting behind desk keeps you safe to keep writing your bogus theories. hiho

William Nicholson responded:

Sorry if I missed your point. I guess the point I'd like to make in answer is that everything I'm saying cuts both ways. I know you believe with passion that men operate a ruthless double standard, that they allow themselves to be unfaithful but won't tolerate it in women, but I'm afraid I don't agree. Many men can indeed handle the truth that married women like to fool around too. It just isn't as simple as you claim. Some men can handle infidelity, and some women can; though most can't. You're quite right that I sit at a desk, though actually not all the time. As for my bogus theories, you may well be right there too. But would you allow that you are offering theories as well? Maybe not as bogus as mine, but open to debate?

Posted by Holly James

November 8th 2010

Your article in the Daily Mail is BS You must have been born after the movie Bob&Carol&Ted&Alice was made. The truth is you men can't and would never be able to handle the infidelty of a wife. The joke is on you stupid men. The hand the rocks the cradle rules the world. Go to your room and take some viagra and shut up.

William Nicholson responded:

Clearly you believe in sexual stereotyping - that all women are of one sort, and all men are the other. My own belief is that both men and women come in all varieties, that some men are as narrow and bigoted about sex as you believe, but not all. I'm sorry you seem not to have met any such men.

Posted by Lynn

November 7th 2010

http://www.dailymail.co.uk/home/you/article-1325947/William-Nicholson-A-mans-view-ultimate-betrayal.html It's not a question really, more a comment on an article by you (see link above). Don't assume women wouldn't be just as eager for fun without consequences. Many of us are able to separate sex and love as easily as you gents. In fact, I have been in an open relationship for nearly 5 years (this is not my first open relationship). That is, we both sometimes see other people for fun but remain a couple because we choose too. Sex really isn't that big a deal to everyone. Recently when a long-married friend found that her husband was cheating, I told her that men are more likely to do so than not, and that getting "a new one" was pointless as the next one would likely do the same thing...and she'd grown to love the one she had already. She has always been one comment on my alternative relationship style with contempt, saying that she wishes I'd "settle down in a normal monagomous relationship," which I counter by asking how many of those in a traditional marriage (including her own) could truly define their relationships as successful when a majority cheat (or wish they could, if discovery and consequences were not a factor). At least my significant other and I are open and honest about what we are doing. And, discussing our perfectly natural interest in others brings us closer together. thanks for the good article

William Nicholson responded:

Thanks for the insight. The amazing thing is how you can just never assume you know what's going on in other people's lives. You're right to tell me not to make assumptions about what women want. All generalisations collapse in the face of real life. This is why telling stories (in my case in novels) is better than writing articles in newspapers. I can know my own characters. I can't know all mankind.

Posted by ian

November 7th 2010

loved your piece m.on.sunday maybe liz jones [mos] should read it totally contradicts your piece .was the best advice ive read yet . maybe you should be an agony aunt for women

William Nicholson responded:

I think novelists are agony aunts/uncles in a way - what we try to do is understand what goes on inside people and share that understanding - if anyone's willing to listen. But the great thing about doing it in a book is no one has to read it. Books find their readers. Thanks for getting in touch.